Patsy Palmer Admits She Was ‘Terrified of Dying’ at Height of EastEnders Fame
Patsy Palmer, known for her iconic portrayal of Bianca Jackson on the beloved British soap opera *EastEnders*, recently opened up about her struggles with anxiety that surfaced during her meteoric rise to fame in the 1990s. During a candid appearance on the podcast *We’re Not Getting Any Younger*, Palmer revealed that she was often gripped by fears of dying, an anxiety exacerbated by the pressures of public scrutiny and her burgeoning career. As her popularity soared, so did her internal battles, leading her down a path of substance abuse.
Palmer described her early years when the spotlight felt overwhelming, sharing how these intense feelings of fear and self-doubt drove her to seek solace in alcohol and drugs. This period in her life was marked by a façade of success while internally, she grappled with crippling fears. She characterized those years as tumultuous, yet they ultimately paved the way for her journey toward self-discovery and healing.
Embracing a New Path in California
Today, Palmer enjoys a renewed sense of peace after relocating to California, a decision she attributes to her ongoing spiritual journey. In her new life, she has worked hard to cultivate a healthier relationship with alcohol. While at one point she strictly avoided drinking altogether, she now appreciates the occasional glass of wine enjoyed with meals, emphasizing the importance of balance over strict abstinence.
This shift in lifestyle has been freeing for Palmer, as she no longer feels constrained by the pressures that once consumed her. Her experiences have taught her that moderation brings happiness, allowing her to savor life’s moments without the weight of anxiety dragging her down.
The Healing Power of Sound and Crystals
Palmer has also discovered the therapeutic effects of sound and crystals, which play a significant role in her daily routine. As she embraces these natural healing modalities, she has ventured into a new career as a DJ, blending music and healing frequencies to create a nurturing atmosphere in her life and home. Interestingly, she leaves the comforting sounds on for her pets, emphasizing the nurturing aspect of her new lifestyle.
With a touch of humor, she reflected on her belief in the protective power of crystals, suggesting they may have contributed to her home’s safety during the devastating wildfires in California. “My house never burned down,” she quipped, contrasting her experience with the destruction faced by many neighbors. Her light-hearted take on life is a testament to her newfound resilience and joyful spirit.
Reflecting on EastEnders and Future Endeavors
While she cherishes her time as Bianca Jackson on *EastEnders*, Palmer has made it clear that she is unlikely to make a long-term return to the show. She expressed her disbelief regarding the current storylines, acknowledging that while her character holds a special place in her heart, she is content with her past and focused on her present.
Palmer’s fond memories of the 90s reflect a vibrant time in her life, filled with excitement and relentless energy. Even as she moves further away from the soap opera scene, she appreciates the joy it brought her, serving as a stepping stone toward her present pursuits.
Recently, she garnered attention once more as she prepares to participate in the latest series of *Celebrity Big Brother*. This upcoming appearance signifies a continuation of her public journey, albeit with a more grounded perspective, rooted in the lessons she has learned throughout her tumultuous yet transformative experiences.
As Patsy Palmer looks ahead, she does so with optimism and a commitment to maintaining the peace she has fought hard to achieve.
Her story resonates with many, a reminder that despite the challenges life may present, embracing change and fostering resilience can lead to a fulfilling and joyful existence.
